


i see an angel

by intensecomplexity



Series: Hallelujah [2]
Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Adoption, F/F, Family, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-01
Updated: 2020-04-14
Packaged: 2020-10-04 11:37:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 2,064
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20470403
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/intensecomplexity/pseuds/intensecomplexity
Summary: Ramblings from the 'Hallelujah' series.





	1. evening

**Author's Note:**

> This follows chapter 3 of 'i give thanks for your existence'.

It was different having a teenager getting ready to sleep in her guest room. Emily took her time to clean up the kitchen, so the other girl could wash up and change. She smiled to herself when she heard the main bathroom’s shower turn on and wondered if this feeling of warmth would stay forever. 

She made her way upstairs to her room and sat at the foot of her bed. With a deep breath, she placed her hands on her knees and shook her head. She was excited to be a ‘mother’ even if it was for a day or two. 

When she heard the shower turn off and Serenity’s footfalls return to the guest bedroom, door closing, she wasn’t sure of what to do. Was she supposed to wait for the girl to say good night to her? Was she supposed to go to her? What was supposed to happen? 

As soon as she heard the guest bedroom door open, she waited for a few seconds before she stood up. She made her way to the door only to meet Serenity halfway. 

“Hey, are you going to sleep?” she asked. She looked over the girl and saw her in a grey pajama set that almost matched the comforter on the bed. Another thing to remember for later. 

“No, it’s still early, so I was going to ask if I could still watch TV. Is that okay?” 

“No-- I mean, yes,  _ yes _ , it’s okay. You didn’t have to ask,” Emily answered. 

“I needed to since this is your home,” Serenity replied. “Do you want to join me?”

Emily bit her lower lip and nodded. “I’ll go get washed up, too, then I’ll join you. We can watch a movie and have popcorn.” 

“You still have room for  _ popcorn _ ?” Serenity asked in disbelief. 

“Maybe we’ll skip the popcorn and have hot chocolate, instead. Wait for me downstairs and I’ll be there in a bit.”

“Okay,” with that, Serenity smiled and left. 

The unit chief closed her door and leaned back on it.  _ That wasn’t so hard _ , she thought. Maybe things weren’t as complicated as she thought.


	2. mistake

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follows after chapter 4 of 'i give thanks for your existence'.

_ I don’t want you to make a mistake _ . 

JJ couldn’t stop hearing her own words ring through her head. Worse off, she couldn’t stop seeing the look on Emily’s face when she had said it. She hadn’t meant any ill intent, she was genuinely concerned about her friend’s decision. 

Perhaps, she was too concerned. 

It could have been that since she laid in bed wide awake unable to fall asleep. She couldn’t let Emily simply make a huge decision like that, could she? Then again, who was she to deny her friend this opportunity? 

Opportunity?

That made her wince. A child lost her family and this could be Emily’s chance to be a mother. Would she be the one to take that away from her? 

_ Serenity is  _ ** _not_ ** _ a mistake and never will be. _

No, of course not. No child was ever a mistake, but Serenity could be a danger. The way she held the gun, her strong posture, and her willingness to shoot her brother-- the girl could be dangerous. Could Emily be able to handle that? Serenity wasn’t a helpless child, she was trained and ready to fight when needed. 

JJ let out a slow breath and closed her eyes. 

She had to trust that Emily knew what she was doing. 


	3. call

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This follows chapter 7 of 'i give thanks for your existence'.

JJ automatically answered the phone call. 

The boys were sound asleep and she knew that this could be an important call. She knew what today was. 

“Hey,” she answered, quietly.

“Hey, I hope I’m not calling too late.”

“You’re not, Emily,” JJ reassured. She moved to the master bedroom and sat at the foot of the bed. “How are you two holding up?” 

“Serena is holding her own, but the trial has left her exhausted after finding out her law teacher was the prosecuting attorney.”

“Wait, what? Isn’t that some kind of conflict of interest?”

“It didn’t matter-- the Robertson family pled guilty,” Emily answered. 

JJ nodded even though the other woman couldn’t see. This was a tough day for those two.

“How are  _ you _ holding up?” 

“I’m okay, I’m okay.”

“Are you telling  _ me _ that or yourself?” JJ questioned, imagining the other woman saying those words repeatedly. 

“Both?” Emily started. “I think I’m doing okay so far. This is all so new and I’m not sure if I’m doing the right things considering the situation.”

JJ bit her lower lip and rubbed her free hand on her knee. This  _ was _ new for both of them. They were parents and relatives, but neither of them had first hand experience in consoling a teenager whose adoptive family was being destined for incarceration. 

“I’m sure you’re doing what you can and if Serenity needs more, she’ll probably tell you.”

“I shouldn’t hover, though, right?”

JJ chuckled. “Stay close, but don’t hover. We were teenagers once and we didn’t like hovering.”

“Point taken.”

“For what it’s worth, I think you’ll know what to do when the time comes whenever something happens. You’re a great profiler and you have a pretty good bond with Serenity.”

“Thank you, JJ.”


	4. sleep

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Takes place after chapter 24 of 'i give thanks for your existence'.

Emily hadn’t meant to fall asleep on the couch while waiting for JJ to finish her shower. It must’ve lasted for a long time because when she awoke, the sun was starting to rise while the blonde gently shook her to consciousness. She woke up in a haze; confusion and mild panic washed over her. 

“Em, wake up.” 

She heard JJ’s voice several times, but it took awhile for her to shake out of her state. Once she focused in on the woman seated beside her, she couldn’t stop herself from reaching over and hugging her. 

“You’re okay, you’re safe,” JJ whispered into her ear as she continued to gain her bearings. 

Her heart was racing, her thoughts were scattered, her skin felt cold, and all she could think about was the nightmare she had. She tried to ignore it and concentrate on JJ’s warmth, the strength of her arms around her, and her voice. Unfortunately, it was becoming difficult the more she tried to put the dream out of her mind. 

“She died in my arms, Jennifer,” she whispered. Her voice was raspy from sleep and fear. 

“Who did?” 

She buried her face into JJ’s shoulder and inhaled deeply, taking in as much of the other woman’s scent as possible. She wasn’t grounded at all and she was doing whatever she could to  _ get _ grounded as fast as possible. 

“Emily?”

“It was Serenity,” she answered ever so quietly. “She died right before the paramedics were there.” 

JJ’s arms tightened around her and she let out a whimper for some unknown reason. JJ began whispering reassuring things to her, that Serenity was okay, that it was only a dream-- that everything was going to be all right again. She knew that all of this was true, but she also knew she wouldn’t be able to sleep for a long while.


	5. child

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This follows chapter 29 of 'i give thanks for your existence'.

Samantha Arias only heard praise and sometimes worship from her daughter about one Serenity Song. She could probably recite a version of the girl’s history based on what Ruby had told her. The admiration and adoration was almost questionable, but from what she’s heard… Serenity sounded like someone who should be admired and adored. When Ruby called the teenage prodigy a superhero, she expected it to be an exaggeration of the truth, but it wasn’t. 

When Serenity was burst into the emergency room with an entourage of FBI agents, she knew something spectacular had happened. Spectacular was probably the wrong word to use at the time granted the girl was bleeding out and in such a broken state, it was incredible that she was still alive. 

Sam couldn’t believe that the girl her daughter idolized was in a hospital bed covered in bandages. She recalled the time Ruby had told her of the fight that went on at the academy involving Serenity, but she never saw the girl within the hospital walls. It was only when Alex explained that the teenager fought off her assailants that she knew Serenity was someone worth keeping an eye on. 

So, when she was given a rundown (albeit a vague one) of what occurred at the warehouse, she had a different reason to keep her eye on Serenity. All she could think of was the possible trauma the girl faced, both physically and mentally. A  _ gun fight _ at her age? It would be a miracle to come out of it unscathed. For the most part, it looked like Serenity did come out of it unharmed, mentally, but then the nightmares began. 

The fighter that fought her way back to the living was plagued with memories of violence. 

Sam willingly changed her work schedule to monitor the girl’s recovery. At first, Serenity never mentioned the nightmares, but the growing number of nights her monitor would go off due to an abrupt change in heart rate became a cause of concern. She had seen Serenity suffer through the nightmares too many times, but the girl refused to disclose it to her mother or anyone taking care of her. She had woken Serenity enough times to start urging her to seek help, but still she refused. 

It broke Sam’s heart to see Serenity struggling silently. She did her best to comfort and console the girl during the memories and nightmares, but she knew more had to be done. As a mother, she couldn’t reconcile the image of a  _ superhero _ with the child who laid in bed fighting with herself. As a doctor, she felt helpless and any consultation with Dr. Evans led to nowhere because Serenity did not want to be helped. When the moment Serenity’s nightmare coincided with her discharge, relief ran through her when the teenager finally said yes to help. 

All Sam knew was that the girl playing cards with her was a superhero in her own right. Perhaps, the reasons were different from her daughter’s, but they held the same weight. Nonetheless, that girl was still a child and doing incredible things regardless of what was happening to her. 

At this point, she could only hope that Serenity would be able to manage her trauma and live a beautiful life.


	6. trauma

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follows chapter 29 of 'i give thanks for your existence'.

It came in sooner than expected. 

Serenity gritted her teeth and grasped at anything in her reach. She breathed heavily through her nose as darkness masked her vision. She wanted to scream, but her voice was caught in her throat. Her brother needed her. Emily needed her. Katherine needed to be stopped. 

Except, Katherine was faster than her.

There were two bullet wounds in her.

She was injured. 

No, she was going to die. 

Serenity gasped for air as her vision cleared enough for her to see that she wasn’t at the warehouse. She grabbed her chest and felt only the racing of her heart. It was no longer a dark sky she was staring at, but a white ceiling. 

“It’s over, it’s over,” she muttered over and over to herself. She brought her hand away from her chest and brought it to her face. Sweat was all over her forehead. 

Without a second thought, she reached for her phone on the side table. She clenched her jaw as she searched for the device, taking several moments until it was in her grasp. She brought the device to her face and turned it on, wincing at the bright light that shone on her. 

“Sam… Sam… I literally got your number the other day, tell me I saved it.”

Serenity frantically searched for Sam’s phone number on her phone. She eventually found it and immediately called it. 

“ _ Serenity? _ ”

“I-- I’m so sorry. You said I could call-- I couldn’t-- I needed  _ someone _ ,” the girl choked out in one breath. She didn’t even know if she was understandable in the mess of slurred words. 

“ _ It’s okay, Serenity! Just tell me what I can do _ .”

Serenity didn’t even know where to start. As soon as she opened her mouth again, she started to sob uncontrollably into her phone. She raised her free hand to her face and tried to muffle the sounds. No one else could hear her, not like this. 

“ _ I’m right here. _ ”

It wasn’t Stephanie’s voice, but it was a voice that gave her comfort.


End file.
